As a coach, I help people achieve their personal and career goals. Often clients come to coaching because they are stuck. Obstacles, either internal or external, block their path. They want to get going again. My coaching toolbox includes tools for turning stuckosity into action. 

When I get stuck I use a perspective wheel to shift myself from neutral toa higher gear. When you get stuck try this exercise, follow along with me, and I’ll guide you through it.

All you need is a blank piece of 8 x 11 piece of paper, a pen, and about 15 minutes. Clear the dining room table. Sit down. Take a few deep breaths and relax. Clear your mind as you cleared the table.

Now draw a big circle on your sheet of paper.  Don’t worry if it’s not perfect. It never is. Draw lines to cut the circle into quarters, then into eighths. You now have a happily irregular pie with eight wedges. Above the pie I’m writing the title, “A Talk with My Friend.”

Now pick the wedge to the right of  Noon. Stand it yours and I’ll stand in mine. This is my stuck wedge. I named mine “Cement.” Name yours. In this wedge, I am so stuck. I feel awful; I am holding back and afraid to talk with my friend. I don’t want to lose him. But how he is treating me feels awful. Describe your stuck wedge.  Describe how it makes you feel being in it. Write tits descriptors in the margin.

When I look at the whole pie I can see that only part of my issue is stuck. The stuck wedge I’m standing in. The seven blank wedges represent other options and other perspectives from which to view the issue. I’m going to move around the pie to look at resources and options that until now have been hidden from view. 

Next: Close your eyes and imagine yourself stepping from the stuck wedge into the empty adjoining wedge to the right. What’s the first thing that pops into your mind?  Don’t edit. It doesn’t even have to make sense right now. Name it and write it in the wedge.  I’m naming mine “Dizzy Lighter.” I feel better here, less burdened, as if there is space to explore.

What’s available to you in this space? Describe this place and what it means to you. Let your thoughts spill out. Name the wedge and note your thoughts in the margin next to the wedge. 

Now move again stepping in the next blank wedge.  What’s the first thing to pop up? Again, name it and write it in the wedge. I’m naming mine “tell the truth”. My next wedge is, “He can take it.” The next wedge is, “be kind but direct.” The next is. “If he’s your friend he will understand.” I continue around the pie landing on the last wedge, “Make a plan to meet.” So I call. We’re going to dinner tomorrow.

The Result: He did understand. He apologized and made it right. My fears were just that, fears and worries existing only in my head. We are good friends still made even stronger by overcoming an obstacle that threatened our relationship. Our relationship was strengthened by the truth.

The purpose of this exercise is to move from the stuck place to new perspectives; choice, planning, commitment, and action.  Look at your pie.  Read back the different perspectives to yourself.  Pick a new perspective and inhabit it.  What’s available to you in this wedge? I’d be willing to bet it’s a lot different than wedge one where you started.

 I have done this exercise many times concerning finances, work, relationships, child-rearing, marriage, and others. It never fails to show me new ways of seeing. The answer is inside me and you. All we need is a quick technique to get out of the sticky stuck place to set our common sense free to search for options.

Give the wheel a try.  If you want some help the first time through, email me at art@losangelescoaching.com. I’d be happy to offer you a complimentary guided tour.